You will be surprised at how many
people still harbour some important
misconceptions about sex. Since your 20s
is all about experimenting, it is pertinent
that you learn all you can. Your 30s
onwards is a time to feel more confident
know who you are and go after what you
want. So before that time comes, here
are 10 things you should absolutely get
clear about sex.
1. You need to take birth control at the
same time every day
Hormones in your birth control pill need
to be administered at the same time
every day. Missing one pill in a cycle
may mean that you’re no longer
protected for the duration of the pill
pack; you should use another form of
protection, like condoms, during that
time. If you find you’re missing pills
frequently, it might be time to look into
long-acting reversible contraception
(LARC) options.
2. There’s a difference between emotional
intimacy and sexual intimacy
Though it’s counterintuitive, most
couples become physically intimate
before they are comfortable being
emotionally vulnerable and talking
about their sexual preferences (or things
they don’t know if they like but want to
explore). The solution? Talk to your
partner.
3. What you see in the movies isn’t real life
One thing that adults should know about
sex is that the other person may be just
as nervous as you are the first time.
Between Hollywood movies and
pornography, many men and women feel
unwarranted pressure to be a rock star
in the bedroom that will have their
partners screaming for days. Do not
succumb to this myth. Concentrate on
enjoying each other and don’t over think
things.
4. That it’s OK (actually, kind of necessary)
to ask for what you want or/and need
How else is your partner going to know
how to please you? Speak up, it will be
way better.
5. The pull-out method doesn’t work
If your goal is to get pregnant, then
withdrawal – a.k.a “pull out and pray” –
can be a really effective way of adding
to your duo in about nine months time.
Sperm is released in pre-ejaculate, which
means that without proper protection it’s
possible to get pregnant, even if you’re
careful when it comes to “the big
moment.
6. Sex advice isn’t “one size fits all”
When it comes to sex, not everything is
going to work for everyone. No matter
what anyone says, no matter what you
read, no matter what you see in a store,
no position, toy, potion, book or
anything else that will make everyone
have an amazing orgasm every time.
7. Sex shouldn’t be about “keeping track”
Instead of a give or receive exchange in
sex, the ultimate ecstasy is when it
becomes so much the same that you can’t
tell the difference. Receiving pleasure
from the turn-on of our lover allows us
to transcend feelings of separateness
from focusing on technique to more
authentic intimacy and unscripted
sexual expression.
8. Lube is your best friend
L ube is an important part of a great sex
life. Lube isn’t a substitute for foreplay,
but it’s greatest accoutrement. As she is
keen to point out. Possibilities for
techniques and positions are greater,
and research indicates that lube actually
leads to higher levels of arousal, pleasure
and satisfaction.
9. It’s OK to watch porn – alone or with a
partner
As long as you don’t use mainstream
porn as a model for average sex,
indulging in some visual, audial and
fantastical stimulus can be good for your
sex life and your relationship.
10. It’s not all about the orgasm
Contrary to what you may think, having
an orgasm isn’t the be-all and end-all of
sex. Sure, having an orgasm in the throes
of passion is really really really great, if
it happens, but be mindful that intimacy
is about sharing pleasure and the
experience of it all. Don’t beat yourself
up (or your partner) if you don’t come to
orgasm, because that kind of pressure
will actually make it harder to get there
at all.
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